Little King's Story
by JohnLocke94
Summary: Once upon a time, there was an aggressively imperialistic little boy who wore a crown that was probably an eldritch abomination. He ruined the stable economies of the other nations in the area, appointed his personal friends to be his ministers of state, and practiced polygamy. Based on the excellent game Little King's Story, for the Wii.
1. Chapter 1

_AN: I realize that this may be poorly edited and written, but it's just an idea I had. Whenever I played the game "Little King's Story", I always wondered why the people followed him, and what kind of economies he might be affecting by his aggressive expansionist policies. So... Here we go._

"Did you hear the news?" Lunasa said excitedly to her friend Alice. "That old goat Howser's back in town!"

"I know!" she giggled back. "I heard he went all the way into the Deep Woods this time, looking as he's always been… That brat Verde went with him, said that she was looking for a friend of hers. Liam followed her, of course."

Lunasa rolled her eyes. "Honestly. I swear that there's nothing in the world that's crazier than Howser Oreganostein, and there's plenty of crazy stuff in this world. I'm just glad that we don't have to work as hard as he does!"

Alice raised an eyebrow. "We don't work at ALL, remember? Why would we? That kind of thing's for Onii. They LIKE working, and it's not like there's any shortage of food what with old Shishkebaboo sending sweets our way every day of the week."

Lunasa shrugged. "I guess so. Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow?" She gave a chipper wave to her friend and wandered off towards the green fields next to the Cow River. It was a simple village they lived in – only fourteen inhabitants, not counting the Bull Knight. None of them were particularly rich, but they didn't need to be. The Onii were kind of weird, but they brought in food and other necessities from the surrounding kingdoms, and there was a certain peaceful quality to sleeping under the stars.

As Lunasa strolled along by the woods, she noticed a gleam from inside them. She paused, giving it an odd look. It wasn't often that any kind of glowing creatures appeared. As the shining grew nearer, she became nervous. Maybe it was a new type of beast? Some kind of unidentified, mysterious… creature?

The gleam became stronger, and her eyes landed on the source.

The source came out of the woods, and Lunasa fell to her knees in awe.

Tears streamed from her eyes.

Never in her life had she ever seen anything so… so… perfect.

She prostrated herself before him, bringing herself back up every other second to gaze in wonder upon that golden crown.

"I have searched for the true king for thirty-five years," proclaimed the Bull Knight in a shaking voice, "and I have found him at last. Behold your rightful leader – Corobo. The king of Alpoko."

A tiny part of Lunasa, the part that was screaming that it was just a stupid crown, nothing that should be bowed to, reminded her that using the word "alpoko" was the common slang for "world", and that was just a bit arrogant.

In her peripheral vision, she could just barely make out three figures, standing tall beside the little… No, her King, her Ruler. The Crowned One. One figure, she knew was the Bull Knight. His rusted armor, such a joke throughout their small community, seemed somehow bright under the searing gleam of the crown. If you looked closely, you could almost make out a hint of silver.

The second figure was fat – there was simply no other word for it. A ponytail was the only hair on his shaved head, and there was a strange look in his eyes. Almost as if for the first time in his life, Liam was seeing that there were some things in the world that you shouldn't sell, and shouldn't try to…

The third figure was beautiful, in a country-girl kind of way. Her deep-green dress was made of rough material, but was well-made nonetheless. In her eyes there was a certain confusion, switching back and forth between adoration and a strange kind of worry.

_That's Verde, you know Verde, you HATE Verde!_

Lunasa blinked a couple of times to clear the strange voice screaming in her head.

How odd. She'd never had a problem with this sort of thing before.

She knew, though, that now everything would be okay. She vaguely sensed the other villagers coming up, stopping in shock, and bowing – as they should! – before their King. She thought that the one beside her might be Alice.

_No! No no no! This isn't right, you don't want a king! There's plenty of kings in the world already!_

Lunasa shook her head sharply before focusing again on that beautiful crown. She knew that no matter how many odd spells she might go through, everything would be okay now. The king would help her. The King would make everything all right.

Long live the King.

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Lunasa paused to wipe the sweat from her brow. The blood on her hands stained her forehead, and she glanced briefly at the half-dozen or so scrapes that the dirt and rocks had inflicted on her skin. There was a faint tinkling sound in the back of her mind, and she knew that her King wanted her to work faster. Bending back down, she continued scraping away, Merlen and Lyrica beside her.

Their white shirts were stained with sweat and soil by now. It had been three days since the King had come, and the work had been hard. Digging in the ground for hours, trying to find anything valuable that He could use. It was hard work. She loved it, though. She loved her king with all her heart.

A sparkle caught her eye, glinting in the dirt and dust, and with a grunt of exertion she pulled up the heavy gold bar. Walking forward, He tapped it with His scepter, and the metal disappeared in a flash of light. She knew that he would bring it back to the castle – _Hut! _yelled her mind, _It's just a wooden hut! _– and convert it into the new currency that He'd established.

Sure enough, he turned away, and the feeling of horrid pressure that had made her want to follow Him so badly gradually faded.

_There. Can't you see now that He's trouble? It's that crown of his, and that scepter! They're mind-controlling you!_

Lunasa frowned as she wandered off, back to the green tree where she slept. Surely that wasn't so. After all, He wanted what was best for her. He wanted what was best for everyone! The kingdom would expand, and grow, and…

_This isn't right. Grow where? There are already other kings in alpoko. This "Kingdom of Alpoko" shouldn't steal from them like this!_

No. The king – she dared not say His name yet – loved her. Under His benevolent reign, things would be better. Progress was a good thing, everyone knew THAT. No matter what type of progress it was.

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Lunasa glanced at Alice as the two of them trotted in formation behind Him. She could barely make out her friend's new, government-issued, wide-brimmed hat – her own headwear restricted her vision to what was directly in front of her. A golden helmet, gold like His crown and His scepter. She'd been chosen to be in His Royal Guard, and they were currently investigating a rumor of the Cow Bones, the evil ghost which had been haunting the local cemetery…

_No! That's wrong! Cow Bones is good – he keeps all cows friendly to humans! If he's destroyed they'll become wild and dangerous!_

Some of the dangerous creatures beyond the newly constructed outposts of the kingdom had already been slain by the Guard. She could remember leaping onto the Turnip Head, a strange exhilaration shooting through her as she stabbed the thing through the head, feeling the warm turnip juice splatter on her armor.

_The Turnip Head tribe lived here for years… They provided us with food, they were vegetable growers… Now He's put wide-brimmed hats on humans and says that they are to do it? _

The hastily-painted checkered lines marked where some poor scout had caught sight of their target. Through the golden haze that filled her mind, Lunasa thought she might be feeling afraid. She wasn't sure. No doubt it would go away soon – it was impossible to feel afraid with Him. He'd told her so.

As the troop stepped into the graveyard, a strange humming noise buzzed through the air, and rattling bones were raised up and connected. Soon, a mighty beast stood before them – the legendary Cow Bones, guardian of the graveyard and keeper of the dead. He was the one who ensured that all would pass on to their reward… No, he was a monster. A demon, and a devil. What was this nonsense about him being some kind of guardian? The golden haze strengthened, and as the Cow Bones stamped at the ground, Lunasa drew her sword. She would die for Him.

A chime rang through her mind, and she felt herself charging forward, screaming obscenities at the spirit, leaping onto it with that odd burst of strength, and hacking at its dead flesh with her blade. As she hacked away, she could feel its muscles tensing, and a bell-like sound that her head somehow interpreted as blue in color made her leap backwards and scurry back to Him. Just in time, too – the spirit charged forwards, narrowly missing Alice, who was the last to run back.

Lunasa struck fiercely at the now-headless body of the Cow Bones, knowing that soon the skull it had sent out to attack would return. In her mind she heard the Blue sound, and it sounded frantic. She turned, preparing to leap off, and all she saw was bone white filling her vision.

**GET UP. TO ME.**

The order echoed through her so loudly she screamed, but she pushed herself up and ran back beside Him. A cursory glance showed that the massive skull had shattered her left arm when it sent her flying out, and she barely had time to wonder who on alpoko would fix it for her when her muscles flexed, sending her towards the beast again.

_No, please, not again! I can't fight this thing, it'll kill me!_

Cow Bones slammed down onto the ground, sending out an enormous shockwave that lifted her off her feet, sending her into the air before bringing her down to the ground with a CRACK! that rang through her skull. Crawling up and dragging herself back into ranks, she was momentarily confused at a lock of white hair that wisped across her vision.

Stumbling along behind Him, she realized with horror that she had Aged. It was said in the old tales that man would live forever, unless slain by poison, fire, or beast. When man was close to death, his body would grow frail, his hair would grow white, and his skin would wrinkle. Only the Healing Waters in the ground would save man then.

_Oh God here it comes again where's my helmet I need to have my helmet. I can't die like this, I hate Him, I never wanted to do any of this, I… no, please…_

Lunasa stayed conscious just long enough to feel the final charge of the Cow Bones break every bone in her body.

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Lunasa dragged herself ashore, hand over hand. Her eyes stared straight ahead, with no deviation to the right or to the left. The gritty sand was harsh on her soft skin, but it felt beautiful to her. The Cow Bones was destroyed – the guardian of the dead was no more. When Lunasa had woken up in the land of the damned, she'd looked for a way out. The things she'd seen, though… She could barely think straight anymore. Time moved oddly in the ocean of souls, and weeks upon weeks had been spent swimming through a sea of agonizing pain. She was here, though, here at last. Sane at last, free from that cursed crown. There was so little of Lunasa left, she thanked God that this had happened when it did. She didn't know if she could have lasted another day under the influence of that terrible, terrible golden king.

She curled up on the beach and sobbed, weeping as she lay in the fetal position. Wondering what would become of her beloved countrysides and trees. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw an Onii approach.

_Odd. They don't generally come out of their King's canyons and ravines on their own._

The little black homunculus plopped down next to her, and began singing a soothing song. The Onii were simple folk, and didn't understand very well the concepts of fear, or pain, or hurt. They only knew that their songs made people feel better, and so they would sing.

"Please," Lunasa choked out, her voice sounding raspy even to her, "go to your king. Warn him."

The Onii looked at her with an inscrutable expression. Its teeth appeared briefly from its wide mouth, then disappeared again.

She grabbed onto it, trying to convey the importance of what she was saying.

"You have to go to your king. Warn him that he's in terrible danger. Tell him to call his armies."

The Onii opened its mouth, and for just a moment Lunasa thought she would die, that it would swallow her up in one bite, and that this time it would be permanent.

"The End of Days comes."

She stared at it in confusion.

"What?"

It leaned down until it was mere inches away from her and repeated in an annoyed voice, "The End of Days comes."

Then it stood up and walked away. Lunasa watched it until she was sure it was going towards the Onii King before letting herself curl up and cry quietly again. Maybe it had worked. Maybe they would be warned.

"Lunasa!" called a cheerful voice. It sounded like – Alice? Turning slightly, Lunasa saw her friend running towards her. She was wearing some kind of cat ear headgear, though, and carrying a deadly-looking bow. Lunasa looked into her eyes and saw nothing alive in there.

"Lunasa, we're going to go kill a king! Isn't it exciting?"

As she felt the golden haze approaching, the last bit of Lunasa, before it died, thought bitterly to itself:

Long Live the King.


	2. Chapter 2

Alice walked towards the tall building with stained glass, wondering why she was doing so. Her King had not commanded it. The golden haze that filled her mind had not directed her towards it – she was a simple huntress, trained in archery for the upcoming war with the evil, wicked Onii.

So why…

The great doors opened, and she walked in.

"Ah, my poor child, my sweet child… Ramen, ramen…"

The priest's muttering voice echoed in the empty church, bouncing through the rafters.

"Kneel, my daughter, and I will bless you."

Alice knelt, wondering if soon He might need her again, to strike down His vile enemies with sharp arrow, destroying all in her…

_Oh, God._

Alice's eyes shot open.

"What did you do to me?" she whispered.

"I blessed you," came the raspy voice of Kampbell, "as small a blessing as it is. I wonder sometimes if it is a curse of God instead. Is it a cruelty? So much of a cruelty to give back the mind, for only a small time?"

"How long will it last?" Alice asked.

There was a brief silence, and the light from the stained glass flickered across the dust motes.

"… Only an hour," the priest said at last, "God help me, only an hour. I can give a single hour to you, every day. Those of you who still have something left in there. Not all of you do. That terrible crown does not take great care, when it goes into a mind."

Alice bent her head.

"May I leave the church?" she asked.

"No," said Kampbell sorrowfully, "when you go through those doors, God's Blessing ceases. I do not know why. I do not know how. I am the conduit of God, and I do not know his thoughts."

Alice nodded.

"Very well. Could you leave me alone for a while?"

Kampbell gave her a low bow.

"Of course. God bless you, daughter. Ramen."

Alice stayed there, on her knees in the church, as the colored light from the stained glass passed over her head.

Finally, she looked up and blinked in confusion.

Why had she spent so much time here? It was unproductive to spend so much time doing nothing, He had made that clear enough.

Alice stood and left the Soup Church. He was calling her. They would be going across the bridge, to conquer the world, and He would be leading them.

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Alice knelt by the body of an Onii with yellow painted stripes, and pulled the arrow from his eye socket. They had met with little resistance after the crossing, only a Warrior Onii and his brothers. The Warrior had given them some trouble – he had crushed Caleb's leg with that massive club, and given Lunasa a bad concussion – but he was the only one of the five defenders who were armed, and the sharp swords and long arrows of His Guard was easily enough to destroy the weak resistance.

The golden haze hummed in her mind, and she obediently began collecting the little golden bracelets and jewelry the Onii tribesmen carried with them, knowing that her fellows were doing the same thing with the others.

Maybe there was a bit of her that crumpled inside when she saw the locket that had a crude picture of two very, very small Onii, but that bit made no audible sound.

The celebration back at His Castle was very nice, she thought, with much rejoicing and cheering from all. The golden haze made sure of that. The food for the feast wasn't quite as good as food used to be before the Coming of the True King, but the new farmers were working as hard as they could, and it wasn't their fault if they needed a bit more practice before knowing how to collect the good food well.

Everyone knew that they would be going after the Onii's king next, though, and Alice wasn't entirely sure how she felt about that. The golden haze gave her happy feelings when she thought of killing Onii, but, well… They didn't seem to be all that dangerous, to be honest. Rather the opposite, in fact. Even the freshest recruit was more than a match for them once they'd been kitted out in the golden armor and given the sword of His Guard. Not to mention the Hunters… All the Onii had were their little paws and teeth that were better suited for cracking nuts than skulls.

Still. He had said they were to attack, and so attack they would.

It was a long road, and a hard one. By the time they reached the mysterious parchment, nearly the entire troop was bleeding from multiple wounds. They may have been better armed and armored than the Onii, but quantity has a quality all its own, and the Onii knew that they were fighting now for the life of their chieftain.

Alice stopped behind Him, and He turned to her with those beautiful, terrible blue eyes. Beside her, Merlen stiffened, and she knew that he was hearing His voice.

Dipping his wide-brimmed hat in acknowledgement, he pulled out his hoe and dashed over to a small crack in the ground that He was pointing at. As soon as the hoe struck the ground, however, sparkling motes of gold erupted in the air, and a fountain burst from the soil. Wherever it touched, wounds were healed instantly, cuts closing up and bruises disappearing.

**NOW. FOLLOW.**

So the Guard marched forward, half a league onward.

The king of the Onii was a mighty one, a philosopher-king of the old ways. No one was entirely sure how to translate Oniispeak, and no one had ever really tried, so the humans and the Onii left each other alone, and life was good.

A sweet tune drifted through the air, low humming of pipes and flutes. The songs of the Onii. They harmonized and mixed, making new melodies even as the old ones wore down.

An Onii riding a cow rode past, his large eyes peeking over the pot he had made, wondering why all these humans were in their valley carrying such strange objects…

"The world. It is wearisome."

**I WILL RELIEVE YOU OF IT.**

"I had thought you would be sooner."

**I WAS DELAYED. EXPANSIONS.**

"Yes… Why are you stealing my land?! You built your kingdom on Onii land, taking without permission, without asking!"

**IT IS MINE.**

The great black brow furrowed under the yellow tribal paint.

"What's mine is mine. What's yours is mine. My people carry nothing, only land. Simpler that way."

**UNACCEPTABLE. EXPLAIN.**

A heavy sigh echoed through the canyon.

"I'm you, and you're me. We share this alpoko, why do you need so much of it?"

**THE END OF DAYS COMES. THE FATES REQUIRE IT.**

There was a terrible, terrible silence, and the Onii around the clay throne began backing up slowly.

"… You would bring it? You would do such a thing to alpoko?"

**WHO WILL STOP ME?**

And as two thick black arms grabbed the nearest pots, a voice thundered through the valley and into the heavens.

"ME!"

So the battle was joined, and everything coherent in Alice's head went away as the golden haze took hold stronger than it ever had before, flowing through her limbs and giving them flexibility and speed. Her muscles screamed under the strain as she ran back and forth across the rocky canyon floor, firing arrow after arrow into the shrieking Onii and their massive king.

Within minutes, he was the only one remaining. The Onii lay about the ground, their purple blood staining the ground, their black skin carved and pierced with swords and arrows. As for their king, he looked more like a pincushion than anything, and the pots he threw fell ever closer from his weakened arms.

Finally, what was bound to happen happened. From the rain of arrows, two struck his eyes, and a roar of pain and agony ripped out of him. Wailing in his blindness, he lumbered towards the darkness of Sunflower Valley.

"What's yours is yours," he sobbed as he ran, "what's mine… is yours!"

With that, the golden haze retreated, and a bit of Alice began looking around in horror at the carnage. Soon, though, she felt the order to begin scavenging pulse in her mind, and she obediently started searching for the Onii king's treasure stores.

When she found them, she stood for a full minute doing nothing, gazing in wonder at the pile of gold, jewels, and other valuables. He came by her side soon enough, though, and she was forced into action. As she searched through the assorted trinkets, she noticed that a massive crystalline vase was at the bottom of the pile.

A vase the color of peeled skin, with a simplistic drawing of a heart carved into the crystal.

Alice reached for it, and stopped as the tendrils of the haze curled around her mind and ordered her legs to move her back, away from the Thing, as He stepped up to it. He looked down at his scepter, and raised it to the heart.

There was a flash of gold, and the heart fell away, cracks running through the vase before it fell all to pieces, revealing…

All the humans except for Him stumbled, a terrible pain shooting through their skulls as they experienced the pain of two conflicting hazes in their head.

One was weaker than the other, though, and the burning heart that had started imprinting on them faded, leaving the golden haze behind. They gazed at She who had come from the vase, She was looking at Him with such a terrible look in Her eye.

She was dressed all in white and orange, a ruffled dress that looked horribly expensive – Alice estimated that it would cost at least 5000 bol from the best dressmaker of the kingdomgs – and carried a small scepter with a color-swirled circle on the end. Twin hearts burned in Her eyes, and a shudder ran through the ranks.

She curtsied.

"**You have freed me,**" she said, "**I am grateful. You may call me the Lady Apricot.**"

**HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN THERE?**

"**I have been trapped in that vase for a very long time. I would estimate around a thousand years.**"

**I SEE. I AM THE KING OF ALPOKO. I BRING THE END OF DAYS.**

"**I see.**"

She gave Him a calculating look.

"**Do you have a … queen?**"

He gave Her one right back.

**I SUSPECT I DO NOW.**

He whistled, and the great bull came. He gave Her a deep bow, and held out His hand to help Her onto its back. She nodded in turn and accepted the help, sitting prettily on the massive back. He turned to the Guard, raising his scepter, and Alice had to avert her eyes from the Crown. Personal experience had told her that looking directly into it when He was giving an order would ensure a wiped memory and a long recovery.

**GATHER ALL VALUABLES AND BRING THEM TO THE TREASURY. DO NOT FOLLOW ME.**

With that, the King pulled Himself up on the bull, and began riding away.

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"Where is He?" Alice whispered.

The capital letter was a bit of a given at this point, but Lunasa didn't seem to notice. She was one of the ones that had Gone Wrong. It happened, sometimes. Generally with those who had died in combat and turned up on the beach. No one knew why it happened, but all those with at least a bit of their minds intact agreed that it was an abomination.

Lunasa smiled sweetly, wide eyes staring straight ahead at nothing.

"He is at the celebration, as you should be. Why are you not?"

"Message from Lady Verde!" Alice exclaimed. It was not entirely false. She doubted that she would be able to have this much freedom of will at all if it completely untrue, even though the celebration day had seemed to mark a lessening of the haze in nearly everybody. Perhaps He was focused on other matters.

In any event, Verde had sent her, with a suspicious look in her eyes, to go tell the Lord Liam that she needed to speak with him immediately. If Lord Liam happened to be near His letters, well, Alice could hardly help that.

The castle was a true castle now, and She – no, Queen Apricot, Alice reminded herself, that was her name – had her own, slightly smaller castle just to the left of it.

Within minutes, Alice was skimming rapidly through various bits of "fan mail" – as if the old goat didn't write all of it himself – requests for food, requests for help from angry creatures, and…

Alice's jaw dropped.

_To the King of Dark Valley,_

_I hereby formally request a treaty of non-violence between our two peoples. The comforts of life are something that every kingdom needs, after all, and trade could be very useful for us both. All I ask is that you do not bring your armies to me. Spare my kingdom, spare my people, spare my own big-boned life! I beg of you, sir._

_His Majesty Shishkebaboo III_

It even carried his seal, so it must be the real thing… This meant…

Alice frowned. She wasn't sure what this meant, so she turned to the next letter, a heavy papyrus affair written in broad strokes of ink.

_To Corobo, Ruler of Dark Valley_

_You are hereby invited to a tea and formal summit between us, so as to avoid further violence. There's no need for war – my people have always provided good wines and fruits to your part of alpoko. Besides, I want to meet this extraordinary young man who has come so far, so fast. Let us have a party, Corobo, not a battle._

_King Duvroc, Protector of Cherry Blossom Woods_

Alice put down the letters, quietly delivered the message to Lord Liam, and left.

As she did so, a thought crossed her mind.

_Oh, bugger._


End file.
